Laying down the swords...

So, it's been almost a month, if not more since I've posted something on this blog.  It's been busy and then I was home for break and relaxing.  I was actually planning on posting tomorrow anyway, but I came across something on facebook that really disappointed me: a somewhat disrespectful argument on whether it was okay to hold hands during the Lord's Prayer during Mass.  It was prompted by an article about Bishop Foys of Covington, Kentucky issuing a clarification on the rubrics of Mass.  I'm not saying I don't relish arguments, even ones that become heated; you should be able to passionately defend what you think and believe.  However, just because one can passionately defend those thoughts and beliefs does not mean there is room for veiled insults, snide comments, or attacks on people who hold the opposite thoughts and beliefs.  Actually, especially in this conversation, there is no room for hysterics about the regression or progression of the state of the Church, Pope, Bishops, priests, laity or anyone involved.  If people took a minute or two to think before commenting to process their own thoughts and the thoughts and words of others, seeking to understand them, conversations like these would go a lot smoother.

A conversation like that can have immense potential, for the good of the Church, or it can have the potential to start a rift.  Oh, it could be a slow rift, unnoticeable at first, but the more it grows, being fed by different issues and arguments like these, the more it will grow in the future.  While rifts can be healed in time, one explosive conversation can destroy all the previous work.  A large part of the TEC, Koinonia, and Cursillo programs is to be as Christ to one another.  Did Christ rebuke people? Yes.  Did Christ apologize for what He said? No.  Yet in all He did, there was love.  Yet, when we're faced with something in the Church we don't like, where is our love?  Our love for the Church He founded and the Holy Spirit guides? Our love for those that have committed their lives, in one form or another, to the Church? Those that God has entrusted to caring for the Church have made some mistakes, some of them inflicting horrible wounds that need to be healed.  Yet, for all of those mistakes, the blessings outweigh multiple times.  For all of the mistakes, God's Church still stands tall and proud.  But when we're faced with something we fear could eliminate something in the Church we've grown attached to, even the tiniest of inconsequential things, we give a cry full of bloodlust saying that if you're not with us, you're against us.

I don't claim to know all, or any but of a few of the answers, at least as they apply to me.  I'm also not saying that you have to agree with Bishop Foys or the way he went about it, or anything similar.  If you don't, then certainly discuss it and try to understand it, but don't put the people that defend it and agree with it on blast.  Those who like it, agree with it/affirm it, discuss it, elaborate for those that want you to, and try to understand the viewpoint of those who don't like it.  Even if there isn't a fruitful meeting of the minds, at least you can respectfully disagree with those who hold the opposite belief.  To put each other on blast because something's new/old, and disrespecting each other serves no one but the devil.  All of us are better than that, yet besides a precious few, no one was acting like it.  Get a grip.  Of course, if you see me acting the same way, I fully expect you to say the same thing to me. True story.  In order to lighten it up a little, I'm going to post this video by done to the song, "Why Can't We be Friends", which Smashmouth covered.  I actually prefer the version done by War, but it didn't have cute animals with it.  Until later, peace and have a good week, till later.

Talking to ourselves

  So, lately I’ve been encountering some writer’s block, which is the reason for the lack of posts.  The ideas have been there, but I haven’t been able to proceed with them.  This is always a frustrating experience, although, this time, it did not seem to affect my assignments (which is probably good, as it reduced my procrastination).  This morning, though, the flow has been restored; I wouldn’t say the floodgates have opened, but the waters of my ramblings have been un-dammed in a few places. 

  Perhaps the writer’s block corresponded with the spiritual dryness I had been experiencing as well.  It seemed quite difficult to connect to God in prayer.  It was like I was knocking and there was no one home.   So I started retreating in my prayer, merely going through the motions.  There were some insights that were spoken to me, actually my whole class, but one, yesterday, struck me in particular, “How often is God agreeing with you?”  It occurred to me this morning, at Mass, during my reflections, and in the middle of a conversation: it was like I was knocking on the wall, not the door.  When I wasn’t hearing God’s responses, it’s because my own prayers were hitting the wall and returning to me.  I wasn’t asking God, I was asking myself. 

  

This is not the first time it’s happened, but it is one of the least harmful times.  There are times that I’ve gone on in bliss because I was praying, but only hearing the answers that I wanted to hear.  It’s like God would speak his answer to me and I would deconstruct it, then put it together the way I wanted to hear it.  Therefore, I went about my life for about 9 months after my time of mental anguish, almost completely ignoring the path God had laid out before me.  I say almost because there were a few instances that I listened to Him, such as being a part of Great River TEC #270; other than those scant times, I was listening to myself, my own echoes to my prayers. 

  So, what have you been doing lately? Are you sure Jesus would agree with what you’re doing or what path you’re on?  Are you saying yes, yet staying away from Church, the Bible, and living your faith? Or are you saying yes, because you’ve kept yourself immersed in Church, the Bible, and your faith life? I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that we all listen to ourselves instead of God at one time or another, but we all have the ability to check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.  Let’s check ourselves a little more often.  Hope you have a great day.

Symmetrical lives

There are many reasons it's nice to blog; one of these reasons is that you are able to see the person blogging.  You can get to know the person, whether you know them outside of their blog or not.  At least that's the way I've known most people to blog.  They may blog about their experiences, their opinions on certain topics, or they may write poetry or literature.  Although it's not a requirement to be authentic when one writes, it's much more difficult if one is not authentic.  There may be temptations to not be authentic because it opens yourself, makes you more vulnerable.  The more people know about you, the more they can hurt you in some way.  Yet, being vulnerable requires trust and faith; trust in that the readers will not attempt to ruin your reputation, your feelings, your ego and faith that, even if they do, other readers will either defend you and/or there as many opinions as stars in the universe.  Why get upset about the criticism or attack?

This leads to something I realized again, I think it was yesterday.  I was reading a blogpost and was struck because of the symmetry.  I'm not going to go into details, as it's complicated and messy.  It will suffice to say that the other person and I suffered some very similar torments at about the same exact time.  However, it seems that we emerged from those particular trials at the same time as well.  The point of relaying this is to reiterate you are not alone.  Someone, probably multiple someones, is going through a very similar experience as you, good or bad.  There is a peculiar symmetry to people's lives which can bring us together somehow, to experience and see the Body of Christ in each other in a deeper way.  I don't have my mind completely wrapped around the idea yet; maybe I will never completely comprehend it, but it still rings true.

Another aspect of this is: even though it's nice to know that I am not going through it by myself, in that having someone who knows what you're going through and feeling is reassuring, it's heartbreaking to know that someone else is experiencing the pain I am.  The idea that someone is experiencing the pain, the torture, the heart-rending agony that I may be experiencing is abhorrent to me.  I can be a jerk at times, but I don't wish pain, especially that sort of pain, on anybody.  All the time, for a select group of people, and some of the time for some other people, I would much rather suffer through that pain again than to have them be subject to it.  Yet, that's one more thing it seems we're called to: to feel that way all the time about everybody.  Jesus took the weight of sin and death of all of humanity upon Him in His sacrifice on the cross; I would think that's weightier than any other sort of pain.  I'm still growing, and will be for the rest of my life, I hope I can feel that way about many more people at the end of the year, and multiply it many times by the end of my life.  What do you think?

Because I can, and it somewhat, kind of, in a way goes with this topic: I'm going to include Circle of Life from the Lion King.  Until the next time you read/I post.

Friends?

So, I've been listening to a RENT Pandora station for the last four or five days and at least three songs I hear on the station are from Disney movies, mostly from the 90's.  Now, if you know me at all, you know I enjoy both the music and movies immensely.  Lately, a few of the lyrics have really caught my attention and I think about them.

Today, a song from Aladdin came on (Aladdin is tied with the Lion King, in terms of my favorite Disney Movie) Friend Like Me.  If you don't know the song, I charge you to listen to it.  I have conveniently embedded it at the end of this post, too.  I think my favorite line in the song is, "You ain't never had a friend like me."  I don't really care about the double negative in this case; for some reason, it doesn't set off my English alarm.  Actually, I use the line from time to time, mostly joking.

However, the truth is, I do have a friend like you, actually much better than you Genie.  The friend is God. "[13]Greater love than this no man hath, that a man lay down his life for his friends. [14] You are my friends, if you do the things that I command you. [15] I will not now call you servants: for the servant knoweth not what his lord doth. But I have called you friends: because all things whatsoever I have heard of my Father, I have made known to you" John 15:14-15 Douay-Rheims.


Genie did not create the world or really anything in it, God did.  Genie also did not die on the cross and rise again, Jesus did.  In fact, we cannot force the triune God to do anything against His will.  However, Genie was forced to grant Jafar power against Genie's own will.  He couldn't withhold power from Jafar because Jafar had Genies lamp.  Genie could not fight back.  On the other hand, we can't force or coerce God to do anything against His will; if we could, He wouldn't be God.  


While Jesus called His apostles friends, they still understood they needed to follow His wishes.  After all, He brought salvation and redemption to us, and was faithful to us, even after we were unfaithful to God.  God is still faithful to us to this day.  We love our family and friends, and we should love God even more; because even though family and friends do many things to support us and spend time with us, they can never take the place or responsibilities of God.  So, even though I've got a better friend than Genie, I still enjoy the movie.  Have you thanked God for the gifts He's given you today?

Saints I can relate to..

So, about 15 minutes ago, I got done with a really refreshing work-out.  30 minutes jogging on the treadmill and 30 minutes on the elliptical.  I have finally experienced the "runner's high" and second wind; let me tell you, it feels great.  I'm going to keep this up, especially so I can lose some of these extra pounds I'm packing.  Therefore, I'm asking you to help keep me accountable, through the blog, facebook, random text messages, whatever you see fit.  If you don't, I'll know that you all want me to fail and I'll be a sad kangaroo.  (That's a figure of speech, I'm not really a kangaroo).

Anyway, let's get to the main point of this post, shall we?  All saints are legit, right? Like Saints Paul, Peter, Augustine, Thomas Aquinas, Therese of Lisieux, Philomena, Pio of Pietrelcina, Bartholomew Longo, etc.  However, with some saints, like Therese, Philomena, and Padre Pio, I've got to ask them, "How in the world can I relate to your life?  You were epically awesome and I am amazed."  Sure, they had problems and there were times that they couldn't feel God's presence, but they never lost faith.  They lived their entire lives dedicated to Jesus, even, maybe especially in the rough times.  There are times when I've been able to relate to that, but there's been one major time where I screwed up majorly.  They are just so much better than I was and am currently.

The thing is, we can always get up with God's help.  I mean, how many times did Peter screw up and he was one of the apostles of Jesus.  St. Augustine, even though St. Monica (his mom) prayed and prayed for him, experimented with many different philosophies and sects, had a son out of wedlock, and at times was a virtual party animal.  St. Bartholomew was raised in a Catholic home, prayed the rosary with his family, then went to school for law and eventually was a satanist.  All three of them underwent conversion of hearts and repentance and contributed majorly to the Catholic Church and were forces for good.  Yet I can relate to them, they screwed up, sometimes majorly; I screw up, sometimes majorly (I haven't experimented with satanism though, just sayin'), and it gives me hope.  We can be like them.  Yeah, we've screwed up, sometimes majorly; but if they can have major conversions and strive to give their all to God, why can't we?

I love all the saints, and I like them all, but finding the ones I can relate to is awesome.  Find ones you can relate to.  It may sound weird, but if they can do it, we can too.  We're all called to be saints.  Reason #34 why I love the Catholic Church.  (Yes, I'm making up numbers, but we'll see if I can get a coherent numbering system to work.)  Have a blessed night and day tomorrow.  And I will probably go in depth about certain saints in the future, cause they're awesome.

St. Philomena and Guardian Angels

So, it was family weekend at Mundelein, which I enjoyed very much.  It was nice having my parents up here and meeting other people's families.  Today, before one of the last family left (they were celebrating a seminarian's sister's 20th birthday), a few of us and the sister got into a discussion about Guardian Angels.  That was fitting because it's the feast-day instituted to honor the Angels that guard and protect us.

Then we got into the discussion about how St. Philomena knew her Guardian Angel's name because Mary the Mother of God revealed it to her in a vision.  One of the other seminarians was very skeptical of this, because not much "historical" facts are known about her.  However, the sister, Rachel, schooled us what was known and approved to be truth about St. Philomena.  So I decided to look her up and she was a champ.  I mean, I find her life to be amazing and you should read for yourself what her story is.  The link that I found which I discovered the most information for her is: St. Philomena.  It's definitely worth your time.

Going back to Guardian Angels, how often do we think of them and talk to them?  I mean, they're there looking out for us because God assigned them to us.  Do you take the one assigned to you for granted or do you think of it constantly.  I try to ask mine to protect me and watch out for me every day, but other than that I don't thank the Angel.  I need to be more conscious in my thanks and acknowledgment, what about you?  Any suggestions or thoughts on Guardian Angels?

In closing, here's the prayer asking your Angel to watch out for you:
Angel of God 
My guardian dear 
To Whom His love 
Commits me here 
Ever this day 
Be at my side 
To light and guard 
To rule and guide. Amen


As an added bonus, here's a video that someone put together to Alabama's song Angel's Among Us

Eyes on Jesus

So, this morning, I got up at 6:30 to be at adoration at 7.  Everybody knows that I'm not particularly a morning person because, if you didn't know before now, I just told you.  I can get up early, it's just not my preference.  However, I still have to adjust to and be okay with it.  We don't have to be friendly, just on speaking terms.  I got about 6 1/2 hours of sleep, so I was okay for the most part.

Ooh, for the most part, that means there was a part that didn't mesh.  It was hard to look at Jesus, both in the Most Holy Sacrament of the Altar and at the crucifix.  Every time I looked at either, my eyes started to close; so, I was having an internal dialogue with myself and with God trying to keep them open.  I was fighting my body, somewhat unsuccessfully.  Yet, I didn't have to fight at all to keep them open when I looked away from Him.  I had no problem at all and that made me think.

It's so easy to look away from Jesus because following Him can be difficult.  There are things around us that distract us so much that we have to fight to keep our eyes focused on Jesus.  Some of those things, people, or activities are particular to us as individuals (many more than one person struggle with them though), while others are directed at large groups of people at the same time.  Sometimes we fail, or at least I do, and we get wrapped up in ourselves and the things around us because it's enthralling.  However, we get back up and we force ourselves to ignore the things that keep us away from Him.  When we keep our eyes on Jesus during the hard times, the sad times, the happy times, and especially the distracting times, that's perseverance.

We're called to persevere, to say, "God, I'm having trouble keeping my eyes on you, but I love you so I'm going to push through."  We also can't be afraid to ask for help, whether it be "official" spiritual direction, a heart to heart with a mentor or friend or family member.  We can't do this on our own, and God put those people in our lives to help us to Him.  You and I may approach Him as bent and weathered from the storms of life, but He gave us the resources to reach Him.  So, if you need help keeping your eyes on Jesus or refocusing your eyes on Him, ask someone; if someone asks you for help, be the person that helps.  There's a video at the end of the post by the group "Jack's Mannequin" called "Swim."  I don't have any claim to it, but I think it kind of fits with this post.

However, before I close it out, I'd like to give a shout-out to CatholicCollegeStudent.com.  You can find the link for the site beside my blogposts, above the picture of St. James.  It's a new site put together by some friends of mine that is meant to be a resource for Catholic college students, and maybe more.  Right now, there's a few podcasts, some blog posts, and even a video entries.  I'm really looking forward to seeing how the site develops and grows, so please, add it to your favorites.  Until next time.

An encounter

Last Saturday, a group of us went to the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago.  We took the Metra to Union Station and ate there.  We sat in the spot that I used to sit in when I was coming back from Milwaukee and waiting for my train back to Quincy.  I had gone to the Pizza Hut in the station (another typical moment for me there) and one of the other guys had chosen the spot to sit in, as he had gotten his food quicker than the other four of us.  I had gotten a personal pan pizza with the breadsticks and drink because it was cheaper.  I knew I would only eat one breadstick, but the other Adam said he'd eat the other two, so I got them.

One table forward in the column to my right, there was a homeless man sitting.  He wasn't asking for any money, he was just minding his own business.  I finished my pizza and the breadstick I was going to eat, then passed the box with the other two to Adam.  He ate one and asked the other three if they wanted the last one, but we were all full.  During that time, the gentleman had gotten what looked to be a small container of candy out and was eating the candy.  I was thinking that if no one else was going to be eating the last breadstick, I should give it to him.  Adam decided to throw it away.  I could have stopped him, I had time to say something, but I didn't.  In a way, I was afraid that the others would think it was a silly idea.  I let that food go to waste.  I was torn, but I didn't act and that's been weighing on me.

The gentleman may have been insulted, sad, or thankful but I'll never know.  I walked away without extending any charity and I'm ashamed that I did that.  I enjoy helping people, even those I don't know, but Christ calls us to it.  It doesn't matter if we enjoy it or if it makes us uncomfortable, we're called to follow Christ and help our brothers and sisters.  I pray that the next time I have the chance to have a similar encounter that I will be a reflection of Christ.  Tonight, I am going to pray for that man and all the men, women and children without a place to call home.

If you have an encounter like that where you live, I'm begging you: be a reflection of Christ.  Extend your hand to your brother or sister.  I realize that it may sound hypocritical, as I was not that reflection; however, I'm striving to be a better Catholic all the time.  Whatever happens in these experiences will make you think and, hopefully, help us become better at living our faith.

living the faith

"[14] How then shall they call on him, in whom they have not believed? Or how shall they believe him, of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear, without a preacher? [15] And how shall they preach unless they be sent, as it is written: How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, of them that bring glad tidings of good things![16] But all do not obey the gospel. For Isaias saith: Lord, who hath believed our report? [17] Faith then cometh by hearing; and hearing by the word of Christ. [18] But I say: Have they not heard? Yes, verily, their sound hath gone forth into all the earth, and their words unto the ends of the whole world. [19] But I say: Hath not Israel known? First, Moses saith: I will provoke you to jealousy by that which is not a nation; by a foolish nation I will anger you. [20] But Isaias is bold, and saith: I was found by them that did not seek me: I appeared openly to them that asked not after me." Romans 10:16-20 Douay-Rheims Translation.

  I realize that it's been a bit since I last posted; however, do not fear, my absence is ended.  Not that you would fear that, it just amuses me to say that.  Anyway, hope all six of you have had a good week.  Today is the last entry for the posts inspired by the retreat, well, kind of.  That's for a different time though.  I seem to be rambling more than normal today, whoops.

  Okay, so some thing really gets under my skin sometimes, the whole concept of, "I'm a Catholic (if you choose, insert other denomination of someone you know who does this), I live my faith and I'm better than you."  I haven't actually encountered anybody that explicitly says this, but I have encountered people who, by their words, actions, and attitudes in general, announce this loudly.  I think to myself, "So, why are you acting like a complete jerk?" I think part of it goes back to disregarding verse 17, "Faith then cometh by hearing; and hearing by the word of Christ." In a way, they act like they are responsible for their faith; as if before the person ever heard, they had faith.  That doesn't work though because what do you have faith in if you haven't heard?  Besides, how are you going to effectively spread the Good News? "Yes, you can be as arrogant as I am when you start learning about and living your faith."  The odds are you turn off many more people than you attract to the Gospel.

 However, the opposite is also not good.  We should not be living a.) completely compartmentalized so that people are surprised when they find out we're Catholic; b.) be afraid to talk about our faith with people and their faith and what they think and feel.  How are others supposed to know the greatness, generosity, and charity of God if we don't live in His truth?  This goes back to "[14] How then shall they call on him, in whom they have not believed? Or how shall they believe him, of whom they have not heard? And how shall they hear, without a preacher? [15] And how shall they preach unless they be sent, as it is written: How beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace, of them that bring glad tidings of good things!"  Once we know, believe, and have faith, we are responsible for spreading the Gospel.  We're also responsible for obeying the Gospel as verse 16 implies.  

There are some people that I have encountered that are great examples: they're not arrogant, yet they live their faith in a genuine manner.  If you want some names, I can point you to them.  I really think that this is what truly attracts people; and there, hopefully, aren't many people that are either of the extremes.  I do think there are more that lean one way or the other, but living moderation in this is not easy, I'm working on it.  Sometimes it's more successful than other times.  In a way, it's living understanding that while faith is man's response to Grace (a gift from God), faith itself is a gift to us in a sense as well.  We are all responsible for cultivating our faith, nurturing it, and helping others when they have doubts as well; but if God did not give us Graces and act in the world in many different ways, what would the point of having faith be?  So, as I was on retreat, this is the last prayer inspired on the retreat.  Again, it's simple, you can use it freely if you want, but I won't be offended if you don't.  

Most gracious and loving God,

We thank you for the gift of your grace.

It is because of this gift that

We are able to respond.

Truly, it is only right that 

We make our response one

of utmost love and faith.

We praise you and adore, O God.

In your name we pray.

Amen

Struggles and Addictions

^"1For David himself. Judge thou, O Lord, them that wrong me : overthrow them that fight against me. 2 Take hold of arms and shield : and rise up to help me. 3 Bring out the sword, and shut up the way against them that persecute me : say to my soul : I am thy salvation. 4 Let them be confounded and ashamed that seek after my soul. Let them be turned back and be confounded that devise against me. 16 They were separated, and repented not : they tempted me, they scoffed at me with scorn : they gnashed upon me with their teeth. 17 Lord, when wilt thou look upon me? rescue thou soul from their malice : my only one from the lions. 19 Let not them that are my enemies wrongfully rejoice over me : who have hated me without cause, and wink with the eyes. 20 For they spoke indeed peaceably to me; and speaking in the anger of the earth they devised guile. 21 And they opened their mouth wide against me; they said : Well done, well done, our eyes have seen it. 22 Thou hast seen, O Lord, be not thou silent : O Lord, depart not from me.  23 Arise, and be attentive to my judgment : to my cause, my God, and my Lord." Psalm 34: 1-4;16-17;19-23, Again from the Douay-Rheims Bible.
   
This post and the last one really come together with starting out with Scripture, maybe I should look into doing that more often.  Anyway, God helps us right?  He certainly helps me out, more than I'll ever know and in ways I can never fathom.  There are certainly those that deal with those who try to bring them down, who glory in others downfalls.  Thankfully, I don't think I know anybody that exhibits this behavior or even feels that way.

Tonight, though, the physical aspect of this passage isn't what I'm writing about; maybe in the future, we'll see where God leads me.  It's about addictions/unhealthy habits tonight, addictions that try to get the best of us, ones that bring us down, even ones that we don't think of as addictions.  Looking at Pornography? Addiction. Alcholism? Addiction. Bulimia? Addiction.  Cutting? Addiction.  Consistently bringing yourself down? Addiction. There are so many more than that as well; it would take too many posts to list them all.  I'm not judging anybody that deals with these or any other addictions or behaviors.  I've had to battle my own demons in my life and I'm continuously doing so, some times more successfully than others.  They're attractive, in some form, essentially, "They spoke indeed peaceably to me; and speaking in the anger of the earth, they devised guile."  There are probably times (maybe often, maybe not) when we see them in all of their ugly realities, and truly realize what they are currently doing, or have done, to us.  What do you do then?

I'm going to take a brief side route now, just fyi.  It was September of 2009, my fiance had broken up with me in mid-August, I had just found out that my niece had Alpers' Syndrome, it seemed like my life was going downhill fast.  It felt like the ground had just vanished and I was falling, not in the fun parachuting way either. Actually, I can't describe the feeling, it was more intense than what an analogy could attempt.  I'm not trying to be depressing or to paint any body in a bad light, as I don't think badly of anybody involved.  Anyway, what was I going to do? About October, I came up with a brilliant idea, I would go to a bar just about every night and dilute my pain.  Okay, obviously not a good idea, I came up with worse too, but those are more fit for PostSecret.  There were times through-out the school year that I recognized that my ideas were bad ones and probably getting close to addictions.  I cockily, egotistically thought to myself, "Well, if God wanted me to stop, He'd give me a sign, and I don't see anything."  Well, I'm pretty sure He was giving me signs, as I actually gained a lot of good solid friends that year, as well as keeping some friends I had known before, especially through work.  The only thing I can say is God was still watching out for me, even though I didn't see it.  Otherwise, I wouldn't have made and kept the friends I did.

In late April/early May, I was empty and was running on fumes.  I finally realized what I had gotten myself into and it was in those moments that I cried out to God.  I asked Him to rise up in my defense and fight my enemies, my demons.  He had already been shielding me from some of it, but I had to ask Him.  It's hard to conceive of someone that loves us so much that, even though his/her heart is breaking for us, they'll let us embrace our own destruction.  They do what they can, but they won't interfere because we've made our will known.  At the time, my will had been far from embracing God, and He's not going to force some one to embrace Him.  Really, would you force some one to spend his/her life with you if that person does not want to?  I called out to Him though, and He answered me.  He's built me back up.  I still battle a few of the demons/habits/behaviors, but before I get too close to the ledge I ask for His help.  Please, ask for help from God, ask your Guardian Angel, and ask a friend, enlist help in your battles, especially when you recognize what they can do to you if you succumb to them.

This is another prayer that came to me during the retreat, again, it's simple.  If it works for you, wonderful; if it doesn't, I won't be offended.  God Bless.

Lord, I cry out to you.Help me and free me.
My addiction is strangling me,
Cutting me off from you, O Lord.
Be merciful and give your unworthy servant strength.
For it is only through you that I may
Be brought to new life.
Grant me your help, my God,
So that I may resist temptation
and give all glory to you.
In your Holy and Righteous name I pray.
Amen

Being a child of God

"24 Wherefore the law was our pedagogue in Christ, that we might be justified by faith.25 But after the faith is come, we are no longer under a pedagogue. 26 For you are all the children of God by faith, in Christ Jesus. 27 For as many of you as have been baptized in Christ, have put on Christ. 28 There is neither Jew nor Greek: there is neither bond nor free: there is neither male nor female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus. 29 And if you be Christ's, then are you the seed of Abraham, heirs according to the promise." -Galatians 3:24-29 Douay-Rheims Bible.

The definition of pedagogue is a teacher, most often a dull, formal, narrow, precise teacher.  Thanks to Merriam-Webster online for the definition.  One could say that a pedagogue is unimaginative, a teacher who, when asked a background question, or why something is a certain way says something along the lines of, "I don't know why, but it doesn't matter. This is just the way it is, don't ask any more questions."  Well, it doesn't work like that, at least it shouldn't.  

If we do not know the how of the answer, that's okay; the majority of the time we know the why of the answer: because God loves you/us/them.  However, in my not so august opinion, we can't make that a flippant answer either.  When someone asks us why can't animals can't talk with us, or answer should not be, "I don't know, I'm not God.  As I was saying..." or "Because God loves us that's why."  Shouldn't our answer be more along the lines of "Well, because God loves us, he made each animal differently. Humans can talk and understand each other, dogs can bark, cats can meow, cows can moo, etc"?   

 As children of God, we have the obligation to treat each other with the same respect, honesty, and charity that we believe that we deserve.  If they're different than us, have developmental disabilities, aren't a particularly nice person, are children or have to many similarities to us than we're comfortable with it doesn't matter.  They, as children of God, have value; not out of any thing that we as human beings can assign, but because they are God's children.  The opposite is the same as well, we deserve to be treated with respect, honesty, and charity as well.  This is not saying that I expect to be treated better than someone else, or that I am better than you, because I am not; we are all children of God.  Remember though, you need to treat yourself with the same respect, honesty and charity that you treat others.  Yes, you know your own faults, as I know mine.  You also know your own achievements, as I know mine; however, the saying that we are our own worst critics is true, at least most of the time.  So, while this post is wildly different than what I had envisioned when I had the inspiration over the retreat, it still fits.  I wrote/transcribed a few prayers during that time.  I'm not saying they're anything spectacular, as they're simple, and they work for me.  If they work for you too, that's great, I hope they do.  Use them freely, wherever you desire; if you don't want to, I won't be offended.  I'll post them individually with the post that goes with it.  No, I don't have titles for them either.  

God, you know my strengths

and you know my faults.

You know my accomplishments

and my failures.

You shepherd me through the dark times,

as well as the light.

Help me remember, God,

that my value is not in my deeds;

nor does my value diminish if I fall.

I have value because

I am your child

and you made me.

Live in me, Lord,

and fill me with your Spirit.

Amen

And there was silence...

On Friday afternoon, after Mass, we finished our 6 day long silent retreat.  That was spiritually productive, as well as forcing me to take a deeper look at myself again.  I didn't like some of what I saw, as it was ugly, so I re-learned what I need to work on.  I liked a lot of what I saw, as well; however, I need to work to improve that as well.  When all is said and done, I've got work to do.  Thankfully, I've got time, actually, up until the point of my death.  However, just because I have time does not mean that I should procrastinate.  If we as people procrastinate, especially in regards to our spiritual lives, we're only going to get worse.

I'm not happy, or even comfortable, where I am spiritually.  The interesting thing is when I look at some of the spiritual big hitters who are in my life, they're not happy or content with where they are in their own spiritual life.  When they, who are like Humphrey Bogart to my Zac Efron (make fun of him all you want, but he's shown that he's a good actor and can play different roles), some one that will take years and years of work to even reasonably attempt comparing the two, are striving to be better every day, it really makes me think.  It's like, wow, they really love God, and it shows.  The killer thing is, they're humble about it because they had their own spiritual big hitters in their lives and they know what it's like.  They still probably have them.  So you want to be holy?  Pray and work on living a holy, humble life.  Make your exterior actions synchronize with your interior.  I know I've got to work on it, every day, for the rest of my life.  So please, pray for me, I need your prayers.  Maybe one day, you and I will be spiritual big hitters in some one else's life, I certainly hope I'm humble then, continually looking to my spiritual big hitters.  Thanks for joining and following me on this journey in any way that you do.

Update on move to Mundelein

So, Monday morning, I started my voyage from Quincy, Illinois to Mundelein Seminary in Mundelein, Illinois, a town about an hour northwest of Chicago.  Before I left my house, I said to God, "What in the world are you getting me into now?"  After a few minutes, I get over myself and say, "Well, God knows what He's doing and I need to trust in Him."

That's a continual process for me, I need to get over myself follow God's will continuously.  There's a silent retreat that will starting on Sunday evening that goes till Friday afternoon.  So I'm hoping that I'll be able to conform my will to God's after this retreat and through out the year.   I do have my schedule for the first quarter and will put it up next Friday or Saturday.  I do believe that it will be a good year, but it will definitely be challenging.  I'm finishing up the orientation, so this entry is definitely scatterbrained.  Please pray for me, and all other seminarians, this year.  Thank you.

Mass tweeting

I have a confession to make: I have a Twitter account.  I sporadically update, but I find the majority of information posted by the people or organizations I follow very interesting.  Some of it, I could live without knowing, but that's the nature of things.  I don't have a problem with several tweets per day from the accounts I follow.  However, this past week I encountered something that I was very disappointed in.  There are at least two people, if not more, affiliated with Catholic News Service that are attending World Youth Day in Madrid; one particular person tweets from the CNS account.  This person was tweeting during the Opening Mass, keeping everyone updated on the different moments of the liturgy.  

I experienced a few reactions during this time: I was at work, so it was neat to know what was going on and how this Mass differed from others; The thought that, "I'm sure that it will be broadcast again, either on tv or the web, so I can see for myself; You're tweeting during Mass?! Really? Instead of updating, why not concentrate on prayer during the Mass? Seriously, folks.  The third reaction was the most dominant, sort of a disbelief, sadness and irritation put together.  You're distracting yourself and others when doing this, no matter how subtle you think you are.  Sure, it's a different experience than the Masses you're used to in your parish, that doesn't mean worshiping and praising God and praying take the backseat to novelty.  

I'm sure the person tweeting meant well, and may have not even thought of distracting herself and others from the focal point of the Mass.  Hopefully, the person does think of it and refrains from doing so in the future.  It has been stirring about in my mind and it makes me wonder.  Do I ever let my social media sites (whether it be Twitter or Facebook, or even my blog) get in my way of praising and worshiping God with my life and my prayer life?  The unfortunate answer is, "yes."  So there are times that I need to refocus and evaluate how much time I spend on the sites, how I use the sites, and my interaction with other people on the sites, in order to concentrate on God more fully.  So, I'm going to ask you to ask yourself the same question: What gets in your way, whether it be social networking sites or work or school, do you want to remedy that, and how are you going to remedy it?

The Right Name

I chose St. James the Greater as my confirmation saint, and it has turned out to be somewhat fitting.  At the time, I wasn't too interested in doing all that much research into saints.  Looking back, I know that it's a very important choice and shouldn't be taken lightly; however, my 13 year-old self decided to take the easy way out.  As my middle name is James, I thought I might as well take a James to be my confirmation saint.  That actually seems to have backfired, but in the best possible way.  It seems I possess many of the traits that are attributed to St. James: impulsiveness, anger, wanting to use retributive justice instead of charitable justice, being comfortable with asking Jesus for anything, and wanting to truly be close to Jesus.  The first three traits can definitely have a tendency to be negative. I think St. James is really looking out for me because those impulses have been tempered.  While part of that tempering process is growth and maturation, I definitely think St. James deserves some credit as well.  So, thank you St. James.

I'm pretty comfortable asking Jesus for anything, even though I've had problems with His answers in the past.  Looking back, I see that they've been the right answers, even though I didn't realize or appreciate them at the time.  At the moment, I don't have any issues with the answers He's been giving me; however, that's because they're answers I like or am comfortable with.  If I get an answer that I don't like or am not comfortable with, it's entirely possible I may have a temporary problem with it.  I hope not, though.  St. James and I have both misunderstood God's mission for us at times, so I'm definitely part of that club.  It seems that sometimes misunderstanding God's mission for me and, honestly, His mission for the Earth, gives me a greater degree of comprehension when everything does click during moments of understanding.  

So, it seems, my impulsiveness when choosing my Confirmation Saint was a good thing.  St. James, I know you've got my back.  Thanks for that, and I'll be better about looking to you for intercession.  That's one of the reasons why St. James the Greater is a baller.  How have you thought about your Confirmation Saint recently?

Recently, I have been catching up on all the episodes from the continuation of the British series Doctor Who.  This most recent batch of seasons was started in 2005 and of the three "Doctors" in this current series, David Tennant is my favorite; however, that is immaterial.  

One of the biggest reasons I enjoy this show is for the wide range of humanity it showcases.  It illustrates some people are smarter than others, some are more compassionate, and, sadly, some have allowed themselves to sink into their own sins and their own despair.  People are not just stereotypes, and while we may all have some qualities taken from the stereotypes others assign to us in their minds, we are more than that stereotype.  Each individual person has value and we can all be redeemed.

That clearly resonates with the teachings of the Catholic Church, as all we have to do is look in the Catechism to see that, "1700 The dignity of the human person is rooted in his creation in the image and likeness of God (article 1); it is fulfilled in his vocation to divine beatitude (article 2). It is essential to a human being freely to direct himself to this fulfillment (article 3). By his deliberate actions (article 4), the human person does, or does not, conform to the good promised by God and attested by moral conscience (article 5). Human beings make their own contribution to their interior growth; they make their whole sentient and spiritual lives into means of this growth (article 6). With the help of grace they grow in virtue (article 7), avoid sin, and if they sin they entrust themselves as did the prodigal son¹ to the mercy of our Father in heaven (article 8). In this way they attain to the perfection of charity."  (Taken from Part III, "Life in Christ," Section I, "Man's Vocation Life in the Spirit," Section I, The Dignity of the Human Person)

As we were created in the image and likeness of God (by God), we have dignity.  The actions that we take determine how we grow and if we let ourselves grow.  If we sin, we have to confess and repent, therefore entrusting ourselves to God's mercy.  I believe that Doctor Who illustrates this, yet how often do we think about shows that resonate with us?  While there may be something said for entertainment for its' own sake, why settle for that all the time?  Why not choose shows that educate, broaden the appreciation for culture, and make oneself think?  These shows don't have to be boring, they can be quite entertaining and interesting.  We can learn, about ourselves, others, or other things, yet still be entertained.  Hopefully, I think more about that in the future.

Prayer Requests

I had a phone interview on Friday, July 1st for a Youth Minister position in the Archdiocese of St. Louis at Sacred Heart Parish in Troy, Missouri.  I was nervous and excited (mostly nervous) about it, as the interview was over the phone.  Different styles of interviews have their own pros and cons, which everybody knows.  A few days before the interview, I had this brilliant idea to ask many of my friends to pray for me, that God's will be done and I accept it.

Well, there was something I had not thought about, the particular day, this year, was the Feast of the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  For those who don't know, Jesus appeared to St. Margaret Mary Alacoque and asked her to request this Feast be celebrated on the Friday after the octave of Corpus Christi, to atone for the ingratitude of humankind towards the sacrifice that Christ made for us.  More information on the Sacred Heart here.

So, I had asked for hundreds of prayers for me and the interview, on the Feast of the Sacred Heart (at Sacred Heart parish), and to accept God's will.  I should have really thought about what I was asking for.  The following Tuesday (the 5th), I was driving back to Terre Haute, Indiana (from my mini-vacation in Perryville, Missouri), when everything just clicked.  I realized that God had put it on the back of my mind and on my heart to re-enter the seminary for a reason.  I had been dealing with this for the last year and a half, so I finally said, "Yes, Lord."  I still have no idea what God has in store for me, but He wants me to do this for a reason.  The strange, but good, part is that I'm really glad that I capitulated.

Lesson #1: Prayer works
Lesson #2: When praying, and asking for prayers, it wouldn't necessarily hurt to specify exactly what you want, just to clear it up.  Asking for generalities and God's will to be done can open up a whole can of worms that aren't expected.  It can definitely take a person by surprise.
Lesson #3: Don't take people for granted.  Let them know you appreciate their prayers, and keep them updated. They said they'd pray for you for a reason.

Good times.

Anger, Moving, and Peace

Okay, so it's been a while since I've blogged, it doesn't feel like I've had the time.  Well, I just decided to make the time.  In my absence, there's a few things that have happened.  1.) Casey Anthony was acquitted of murder, but indicted on four misdemeanor charges of lying to investigators.  2.) I'm moving back to Quincy tonight after my niece's birthday party.  3.)  I'm re-entering the Seminary for the Diocese of Springfield-in-Illinois.

Concerning the first event: There has been widespread outrage that the jury did not convict Ms. Anthony on the murder charge.  I have seen many Facebook posts about how she never would have been acquitted if that particular person was on the jury, but now people will despise her forever.  I've also seen people say that they hope she rots in hell.  Friends, as much as some people think there was a miscarriage of Justice, the exact opposite has happened.  12 jurors were not convinced beyond reasonable doubt by the prosecution that Ms. Anthony committed murder.  They may have, and probably did have their own strong feelings, about the verdict, perhaps wishing they could have been convinced.  They were not seeking vengeance, but justice. I am sorry for the loss of Caylee's life but, looking at the evidence presented by the prosecution, I probably would have voted to acquit Ms. Anthony as well.  Yes, our justice system is imperfect, but I am glad that it operates out of reason instead of the public hotbed of emotion.  Were Ms. Anthony's actions following the death of Caylee improper and wrong? Yes, they were.  But judgment of a person is not ours to make, it is God's.  And if Ms. Anthony did kill her child, whether it be negligible or intentional, she will answer to God.  I do hope and pray the truth is discovered and, when it is, the person or persons are prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.  However, let us be mindful of what the LORD says in Matthew 7:4, "Or how can you say to your brother 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye?"  Let us be mindful of and rectify our own faults and failings before confronting others.

So, the second and third event are connected, I am moving back to Quincy so I can streamline the process of re-entering the Seminary.  In my opinion, it is easier to work out of the diocese that I will be studying for, leading up to my re-entry.  It's an exciting and somewhat nervous experience, but God put it in the back of my mind and on my heart for a reason, so I need to discern why.  This time around I think I'm better grounded because I don't know what God has in store for me and I am accepting of that.  My experiences have shaped me, mostly for the better; the pain that I have experienced has made me stronger.  I'll still be writing my blog and still be muddling through my faith and life, it's just going to be from a different perspective.  Any prayers that you could send my way would be wonderful as well, that God's will for me may be done and I accept it.  Many thanks.

How much does a Pente cost?

Okay, so lame joke, if it can even be called a joke, but it amused me.  Of course, some would say I am amused easily; to that, I say, "And it took you how long to figure that out?"  However, let's get on with getting on.  First I'd like to update my last post: Either I'm a bit over-dramatic or consequences just develop very slowly for me.  I don't think I opened the equivalent of Pandora's Box for me, along with, I don't think I have made the equivalent discovery of fire for myself.  Of course, it's easy to feel like I have when emotions are involved and stick my foot in my mouth down to my trachea.  There's also the possibility that absolutely nothing will come of the particular discussions of last week.  I know I'm bad at predicting the future.  For example, it could be 12:30 am and I've just gotten off work; I say to myself, I'm going to bed at 1 am to give me a little time to get home and unwind.  So, I get home and I see this really fascinating show on tv and it keeps me up until 2:30 am.  Just from something normal, my prediction is broken and it is proven that I can't foretell the future with any credible degree of accuracy.  However, the possibility that absolutely nothing will come of it?  I doubt that's true at all; for every action and interaction (at least in my life, so far), there are consequences, some good and some bad.  Most of the time those consequences are some that I had no idea they would occur.  Now, I am not saying we should act whichever way the wind blows, as we know what actions are right and wrong, along with having the ability to weigh some of the possible consequences that we have witnessed before.  We just have to ask ourselves, (hopefully before we take the action, something that I definitely need to work on) "Am I doing/Have I done the right thing? What will be/What are the consequences of my actions (short term and effect on my soul term)?"

That was a longer update/spiel than I was anticipating, that's cool.  Let's get on with the next topic: secret clubs.  I know, you're thinking, "Adam, what are you talking about? Secret clubs and Pentecost? Those two don't even connect."  That, my friend, is where you're wrong.

So, in Sunday's Gospel, the disciples were in a locked upper room and they didn't want anybody else coming in.  Right there, secret club.  With that first description, you could think that they were like the "He-Man Woman Haters Club" from the Little Rascals tv show or movie.  Obviously, there are dissimilarities but both groups didn't want to have uninvited guests and they wanted to lock everyone else out. The disciples were afraid of the Jews and the little boys were scared of girls.  That bonded them together more than if they were just Christians and the boys were just random boys.  How often do we start secret clubs, even if we don't think of them like that, because we're afraid of something or someone, or just because we don't like something or someone?  I can also refer to "secret club" as a clique. In a way, we seek protection and refuge from someone or something because we don't like what affect the person/people or thing will have on us.  Maybe it's negative points on our reputation or maybe the outcome, in some circumstances, is as drastic as death.

In the Gospel, Jesus comes before them and says to them, "Peace be with you." Jn 20:19.  I think I would have fallen straight out of my chair, twisting and hitting my face on the floor.  Even if I had seen some of His other appearances, I think it would have shocked me that much.  Then, He shows them His hands and side and they were glad when they saw Him. Jn 20:20.  I would not be surprised if "glad" is understating things by alot.  I'm glad when I have a good day at work, I would be completely ecstatic and awe-struck by my LORD and Savior appearing before me.  I just don't see how that is something a person can get used to, even if you spent 3 years with Him and was witness to multiple appearances after He was crucified and resurrected.  I hope I would be ecstatic at least, I don't want to get used to something like that.

Jesus then says, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I send you."  And when that's done, He breathes on them and says, "Receive the Holy Spirit" Jn 20:21-22.  Obviously, I paraphrased some of it, but not what's in quotes.  What do they have to be afraid of, especially now?  Jesus is sending them out and while they may die (most of them die via martyrdom), He's like don't worry, I've got your back.  If you do My will and spread the Good News, what really matters, your soul, will be great.

Yes, I've read ahead.  So why are some Catholics and other Christians not living that way? I'll admit, I've been a part of a group out of  fear for my reputation, even during the times I've wanted to be a good person.  But thinking about it, my reputation vs. my soul, what's more important? Obviously, my soul. I think we get sidetracked though, reputation is short-term and soul is long-term; sometimes I'd rather think about now instead of later.  But we should not do that.  Speaking as a Catholic and believing in what the Church teaches,  the Church is not trying to be exclusive, She has the concern for all souls in her heart.  As good Catholics, we should want everybody to believe and go to Heaven.  The Church is not a secret club for anybody, it is a community of believers, the Mystical Body of Christ.

So, I've got a challenge, if you read my blog, Catholic, any other denomination of Christian, or really anybody: At least once this week, hopefully more, and for longer than this week: open your heart to somebody, somebody you wouldn't normally do much for.  Be a good example of a person: give them the ear they need to listen, if they need 5 cents and you have it, give it to them.  It's a small way, but if there aren't any available "great ways" right there, the small ways are better than keeping yourself closed off.  I realize this was a longer post and I appreciate your reading.

Say what?

Dear God,

I had absolutely no idea I was going to say that.  Please help me deal with the consequences, good or bad.  Thank you.
Love,
Adam

Do you ever say that sort of prayer to yourself? Minus signing it Adam, unless your name is Adam, of course.  I'm saying that right now.  I just had the same question posed to me and repeated, kind of like when Jesus asks Peter, "Do you love me?"  Either that, or when Peter is questioned in the courtyard about being Jesus' disciple.  The question wasn't even posed that forcefully, at least I don't think it was.  I should have told the full truth when I was asked the first time, but I thought I'd skirt around it.  But then I was asked again, and maybe a third time, I don't really remember.  But the last time I was asked, I gave the person the truth, all of it.  And it took both of us by surprise, and I'm somewhat confused by the response right now.  I have no idea what happened really, I feel like I either just opened Pandora's box or brought fire back to humankind.  I'm sure that's hyperbole, but that's what it feels like at the moment.  A momentous decision that will impact my life forever.  The funny thing is, God was in that decision.  It's like, to use a Carrie Underwood reference, I let Jesus take the wheel.  And while I'm nervous about it, I'm less nervous and inquisitive about it than I would be were I trying to control the situation.  If God is leading you towards something, it'll turn out to be good, even if it doesn't look like it at first.  Trust in the Lord.  Much easier said than done, especially for me, but definitely worth it in the long run.  We'll see where this leads.

Concentration

Last night at Mass, there was a guest priest, a missionary with the Society of the Divine Word (SVD); He is a missionary in Montserrat, an island in the Caribbean.  I knew he was going to give the homily, what I did not know, until he retrieved the book of the Gospels, was that he was going to preach the Gospel.  "Oh, great, I'm going to have to concentrate really hard to understand what he's saying."  That's what I was thinking, so you can imagine that I was startled when he spoke perfect English. During the homily, he explained that he was originally from Jackson, Mississippi, so that's exactly why I understood him.

After I had left, I started wondering why it would be a bad thing if I would have had to concentrate to understand him.  It ties in to what I had been thinking about earlier in the day. Two of my friends asked my why I was going to church, couldn't I just skip it?  I told them the truth, I want to go because it's important to me.  They dropped the subject and the day went on. That got me to thinking about why I like going to Mass most of the time.  I came to the realization (again) that I get something out of Mass.  I get a sense of calmness and, most of the time, I get something out of the homily, as well as having the understanding that everything will be all right.  Sometimes I don't put much into the Mass, and I still get all of those out of it.  However, it seems the more I invest myself, the more I get out of it.  While I realize that I probably shouldn't think of it like that, right now it's a decent way to keep myself on track.  So, if I had to have concentrated, which I probably should have been doing more of, I probably would have gotten more out of it.

But today, I hope all of us have remembered those who have served our country, especially those who have died in the while serving.  May God bless them all.  Thank you for doing all you have.

Judas

On Sunday morning, I walked across the stage in Quincy University's 148th Commencement and it was a wonderful experience.  While I had this wonderful experience, I also came to another realization and it made me think of Lady Gaga's newest single, "Judas."  I don't like the entire song but, I do think that part of one of the verses can very well describe some of today's Christians, including myself.  "Jesus is my Virtue and Judas is the demon I cling to."  While demons are fallen angels and thus completely different from humans, and Judas was a human, I find that the sentiment is understandable.

We love Jesus and want to be holy, yet we are attached to one or more things that serve to draw us away from Him.  It's as if each of us has a "favorite" sin or area of sin and we do our best to hold on to it while we try to be good Christians.  There's a problem with that, though: we cannot hold on to both our sins and Jesus.  This is something that I need to work on myself.  We cannot hold on to both because if we want to enter Heaven, we will have to die to ourselves, which is obviously hard.  However, hard is not is impossible and something that is worth the work is rarely easy.

How do we do it though?  It's not like we're all saints.  That excuse doesn't fly though, as we're all called to be saints.  There are several parts to success, even though the majority of us may never be canonized.  Prayer, Sacraments, Accountability, and Scripture.  Perseverance in all of those is mandatory.  While I need so much work on all of those, especially perseverance (and consistency), I know I can count on God to help me.  Hopefully we will learn to let go of our Judas' and hold on to Jesus.

I went to sing karaoke last night, along with my brother's fiancee, Morgan, and her friend, Amy.  I was the one driving, so was being the DD if they decided to drink.  When we were picking up Amy, before she got in the car, she picked up a book that she would have sat on if she had just got in.  However, she didn't just pick up the book, she tossed it carelessly and I cringed and bit my tongue.  I wanted to say, "Really? Is that the way you treat books?"  However, I didn't and the night went on.

I was thinking tonight, though, and came to realize that many people treat God like that, all too often.  We carelessly toss His name around, some people make jokes about Him, whether it be God the Father, Jesus Christ, or the Holy Spirit.  Then, some people just talk to Him whenever they feel; it can be several years before they seriously communicate with Him.  We're treating God even worse than a book, but He is much more valuable than a book.  He is the most valuable thing we could ever dream of seeing and sometimes people treat him worse than trash.  The next time we do something involves God and our treatment of Him, let's do it with love, not carelessness.

What's your appraisal?

Okay, Sunday night before Mass, I sat down at home to watch some Antiques Roadshow.  Sometimes I like practicing to be an old man.  Actually, I think the show is fascinating with what's worth lots of money and what isn't.  It can keep you guessing as to if the item is a reproduction, whether it be one of quality or a knock-off.

The Gospel that day was from Luke 24:13-35, which many of us know as the Road to Emmaus.  So pretty much Jesus meets two of his disciples on the road to Emmaus and they're downcast.  So, Jesus, although they don't know it's Him, asks them what's got them so down? They're shocked, and are like, "What's up with that?!" They're shocked that He does not know what's gone on recently in Jerusalem, so they tell Him.  So, Jesus is like, "What's up with that?!"  Although, hey, it's not out of shock as to the events, it's out of the fact that they're His disciples and yet they've remained completely ignorant.  So, He explains to them the Scriptures that refer to Him.    So, after that, He infers that He's going on past the village;  the disciples ask Him to stay with them.  So, He sits at table with them, says the blessing, breaks the bread, and gives it to them.  Then their eyes are opened and they recognize Him, then He vanishes.  Then they realize that their hearts were burning within them while He was speaking.

The disciples had been afraid that Jesus Christ had been a reproduction, a particularly good reproduction, but still not the real thing.  So, when Jesus appears to them on the road, they bring to Him their "item."  So, Jesus, is the appraiser, and He tells them the story behind the events in Jerusalem, and then comes the big reveal: Jesus Christ is not a reproduction, high-quality or low; rather, He is the most precious item they could have ever come across.  Not only that, but after He vanishes, they realized that they were in His presence that whole time and they ask themselves why they didn't realize it.

It's kind of easy for us to see here, at least part of the puzzle.  They didn't realize it because of their fear and they thought it was too good to be true.  I can relate, because there have been times that I let my fear and skepticism control me; yet Jesus, "the appraiser and the precious item" always comes through for me.  We need to realize that Jesus is the best gift we can ever get.  Pray that we don't let our cynicism and fear keep us from God.

Nice sense of humor you've got....

Okay, so many people, including me, think that God has a sense of humor.  Why? It's not because He enjoys watching tv sitcoms or cartoons; although, He might, there are some pretty funny ones out there.  Most people that I know say God has a sense of humor for one of two reasons: 1.)They're doing something that they never expected to be doing or 2.) They thought a certain part of their life was done, when surprise! it comes back. 

Neither of those two is a bad thing,  but it does make life more interesting.  It also shows us that we have no idea what the specifics of our lives are going to be, until they happen. It's kind of like Shakespeare wrote in As You Like It, "All the world's a stage..."  However, most actors have an idea as to what their script is, and while we may have an idea, it's not even an outline.  But what if we really trust in God? Do we need a script or even an outline? No, we don't, all we need to do is let go and let God take care of it.  Of course, that's a whole lot easier said than done, and something I'm still working on.  It'd help if some of the surprises weren't so surprising and kind of strange.  I guess that's just par for the course though.  I may expound on this later, but it all depends.

God's will be done

Well, I'm new to this whole blogging thing, although I am familiar with rambling.  Hopefully, either a.) I don't ramble in my posts or b.) my rambling makes sense and you can make sense of it.

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I'll be writing about God's will this time around. A few days ago I was speaking with someone I know about how she discerned His will.  She told me that she does what she thinks is right and prays that she is stopped somehow if it's not His will.  I operate somewhat differently, as I'm a different person and it makes sense to me to do so.  The way I go about it, when I remember or am convicted to do so, is when I'm faced with decisions, I pray for at least a nudge in the direction He wants me to go.  In a way, it's like I'm trying to use a map to plan out my trip, while this person gets in her car and programs the destination into a GPS.  My way works sometimes and apparently her way works enough for her to continue using it.

My problem is that I hear silence and I feel like I'm left up in the air.  Now, it could be said that both ways are acceptable to God and that's why I don't hear Him; however, I'm not sure that's the case.  I think my temporary solution will be to use both methods, since it makes sense to both use a map and plug the destination into the GPS.  This way I have the ability to plan out my goal but also have the ability to change my way if it's the wrong path or there's a detour.  Maybe that'll be even more effective and I'll have a deeper understanding of God's will, at least for me.